The Life I Want

First, I feel I must re-introduce myself since I have been long absent from this blog!  It has been nice having more friends here, and I have been reading lately, although I haven't commented much.  That will all (hopefully) change now.

I'm Lara, and I'm really good at losing a little weight (like ten pounds) and then gaining it all back.  I'm still not sure why I do this, but there it is.  That's probably all that's necessary to know about me for the purposes of this particular blog, but anything else you want to know can probably be found on my actual blogging blog: Overstuffed.

I'm on a quest this year to change that.  To really change my lifestyle and my level of well-being instead of just lose a little weight and then give up on it when the going gets tough.

I've been reading The Life You Want by Bob Greene, who is Oprah's trainer/dietitian/food psychologist.  He talks about  8 barriers people have to losing weight.

I'll go ahead and list those barriers here, while saying that I haven't finished the book and have decided to work on my own personal barriers one by one, with the help of this book.  (I also highly recommend reading this...very insightful stuff.)

Barrier 1:  An Aversion to Discomfort and Pain
Barrier 2:  Caught Up In the Business of Life
Barrier 3:  Your Pleasure-Seeking Physiological Wiring
Barrier 4:  Feelings of Unworthiness
Barrier 5:  Fear of Success (or Failure)
Barrier 6:  A Poor Body Image
Barrier 7:  Unsupportive Relationships with Adults When You Were Young
Barrier 8:  Abuse

I have to say that I related at least somewhat to ALL of these weight-loss barriers, with the exception of number 8 (abuse).  Number 2 (caught up in the business of life) is probably my biggest barrier, with numbers 1 and 3 tying for second place.

He talks a lot about Emotional Eating and why we do it (all those barriers inspire Emotional Eating for various reasons).  While I haven't been able to nix the Emotional Eating (stress eating, in my case, because I am usually overwhelmed and have trouble saying no to adding more to my plate in instances of both scheduling and dinner), I have decided that I am going to tackle barriers 1 and 3 first.

I hate exercising.  Hate. It.  Part of it is an honest rebellion to having a mother who is an exercise professional who is fairly well-known in LDS circles, part of it is due to having exercise-induced asthma, and MOST of it is due to the fact that it's uncomfortable, un-fun and I can think of so many other things I would rather be doing with my time, many of which are not good for me (see barrier number 3: pleasure-seeking).

So, my current quest is to overcome my aversion to exercise and learn to find pleasure in it.  So, I joined a gym a few weeks ago, even though I have quite a nice exercise bike upstairs and lots of great workout videos, including the entire set of DVDs from my mom's show, lots of Jillian Michaels and a recent Zumba acquisition.  But I don't exercise at home much, because I can always think of something else that needs to be done, or some reason to avoid going upstairs and just doing it.

That's why I joined the gym.  It had to hurt a little bit in the pocket book, because I am mercenary and like to live on a budget and if I'm going to pay that much for something, I have a hard time justifying skipping out.  And so, I've been to the gym almost every day since the day I joined.

And guess what?

I am looking forward to it.  While I do not like it much while I am huffing and puffing, sweating buckets and turning several shades of red (I am a very ugly exerciser, it is true), I feel so good afterward that I begin to crave that feeling the next day.  And I want to go.  I want to work hard.

I had no idea that overcoming these two barriers could be so easy!  Of course, it will always be a challenge, but I love that I am learning to turn exercise into physical pleasure.